my mind wanders to what it would have been like to experience that. to look into the eyes of a man who sole purpose in life was to come and endure pain and death for me.
i look up into his face and expect anger or bitterness that he is there and i am not. resentment even, because that it what i would feel. anger that he must do this in my place. resentment that my sacrifice would not be enough. bitterness that he had to leave the fathers right side to come here.
as my gaze slowly meets his, i see love and forgiveness and acceptance and sacrifice and joy. i see love because he desires this for me. he wants to be my atonement. i see forgiveness for the men that are doing this too him. i see forgiveness my my past, present and future sins. i feel the blood washing off of me. i feel clean and pure. i am right with God. i see acceptance of my sinful self. i feel wanted and desired from someone who knows my full well. who created me beautifully and wonderfully. i see sacrifice of the highest. i see his willingness to do this. he knows that it is his fathers will, he must. i see joy. i see the meeting between him and his father. i see him seeing all the people who will follow him because of this. i see joy that he knows he is coming back to reign. i see love.
i am overwhelmed that i am worth that. this wasnt done as a quick fix, or an easy answer for righteousness. it was a well thought out plan. he knew what he was doing and was willing.
as i look at my life, i am so not worthy of any of this love. i am a wretched sinner who daily turns away from the one who loves and created me. the thought that a man would come and take my place in death is astounding. he did it for me, he did it for love. he did it so that i could be seen as he is. righteous.
oh how i love this. he came for me, he cherishes me, he longs for me, he enjoys me, he created me, he desires me, he pursues me, he died for me, he loves me
thank you father for you death today.