two roads

"Two roads diverged in a wood and I --

I took the one less traveled by

and that has made all the difference."

I often find myself in this tension. This tension of making the effort and choosing the harder road, or allowing myself to follow the easy path. Recently I have found myself distant. I have chosen to allow time, sleep, food, friends, family, tv, almost anything to get in the way..and in some way I was okay with it. I find myself weighing the options. Is the good feeling that good? Is that bad feeling worth it? I am here, sitting in this tension of choosing to be intentional in my relationship with my creator.

Sitting in the tension has forced me to think about my two options. Playing one versus the other, chosing to be intentional versus faking it. I see vividly what Matthew was talking about in chapter 7: 13-14, 

 

"Enter by the narrow gate. For the gate is wide and the way is easy that leads to destruction, and those who enter by it are many. For the gate is narrow and the way is hard that leads to life, and those who find it are few."

 

Sometimes I feel like I am just walking with my head down, only looking a few feet in front of me to see where I turn next only to finally look up and see where I am, on a path leading no where. I quickly run back to the intersection and choose the narrow road. Then again later I feel myself walking through brush  avoiding the path I was on and trying to find my way to the wide path again. It is a struggle. 

I once again come back to intersection. I take a moment to look at the two roads. I see one that is wide, beautiful, green, covered in flowers and sunshine. I looks easy, a nice stroll. No uphill or downhill, just a straight walk. I continue looking down and see the very thing I do not want, eternity away from my creator. No thank you. I rid myself of the desire for that for the moment. I bring my gaze to the other road. I sigh. There is a narrow, dark, rocky road ahead. I see a continual uphill road, a battle. I look further down and see my savior waiting there for me. Resting on a rock in the shade of a big oak tree. His arms our wide with the most genuine, joyful, loving smile on his face. I see him whisper something, I feel it in my heart, my soul. 

"Come to me"

This is my struggle. The continual walking through the brush  toward the easy road only to turn around and sprint to the ugly path.I do this knowing the outcome will be better than the other. While most times the wide road looks nicer, there is nothing to it. There is no joy, no true happiness. While the other may be scattered with hardships and struggle I chose this....because I chose Jesus.